Is Therapy Speak Killing Our Capacity to Love? Unpacking Love Beyond Meritocracy

• The article questions if modern 'therapy speak' and the idea of love as a reward for good behavior are hindering our ability to love authentically.
• It challenges the notion that who we love reflects our moral resume, citing examples like pop stars dating provocateurs or Ruth Bader Ginsburg's friendship with Antonin Scalia.
• Drawing on philosophers like Kieran Setia and psychoanalysts like Jodi Messler Davies, the piece argues that love is an irrational appreciation of existence, independent of good or evil.
• The 'clinical shield' of therapy speak, while intended to democratize mental health, can sometimes foster self-centeredness.
• The article explores the 'trauma paradox,' where individuals from abusive backgrounds may find kindness shaming and seek out 'bad' partners because it feels familiar, and concludes that love is a risky, vulnerable act, not a moral background check.